I know i wrote a lot... but PLEASE, read!!!
I am sara, 22 years. I`ve been in a relationship with a 9ja boy for like..10 months
We
live in Europe..but for now..different towns coz of our universities.
We used to see each other every 2 weeks. Everythin was perfect!I thought
he is perfect! I loved him and i still do..so much.
One day..we were
still in a relationship..i found out that he cheated on me (probably
not only once). I wanted to break up, but he started to cry, regret, say
he is sorry...anyway..he really felt bad about it..and i said..ok,
since i love him, i should forgive. we all do mistakes.
We decided after a while to get married..and we did. this summer on 17 july.
After
few days...he was out in town to do some stuff and his facebook account
was logged on. i said...hmm..let`s check for fun. I never before
checked his phone, accounts, anything! i trusted him blind!
And i
found...a lot of messages he sent to other girls..compliments, he was
tryin to date them... last message i guess it stopped in the period i
found out he was cheatin.
I was never gealous...but i started to go
crazy when he says..he is goin clubbin or out..coz he was always tellin
me aaa am goin with the boys..drink.. bla bla. (this only when skool
starts...and we don`t stay together anymore). of course..we need to have
fun...but later i discovered that he was like...Casanova...hookin up
with girls in the club.
As i was sayin...we got married. I think i
never got over the fact that he cheated on me...while he was lookin
into my eyes...sayin am the woman of his dreams and he will never ever
cheat on me.
I trusted him blind...but now i don`t. And is hard to
move on like this. we just started our marriage...and we had a lot of
problems. He didn`t cheat again i think...but i go crazy thinkin of the
fact that in autumn...he will go back to his town...and maybe do same
things.
He said no way, now we got married, its something different.
I know he loves me..but in the same time...he loves to have fun, drink...girls i suppose.
How
can i get over it and trust him again??? How do u girls, do it??? How
do u handle your man? coz the rate of divorce for interracial couples is
almost...100%
but same race...they mostly succed.
SO I BEG U...teach me how to handle my man...coz i love him and i want our marriage to work.
Is it the end of the world if he cheated???
Tell me more about your mentality and how u see things...
Besides..due to our different mentality...and how we were grown...we have some other few issues.
1.
for example...he has to do smth...he is going out with business. he
tells me..i shouldn`t stress him with calls, or asking every hour when
is he commin..he aint out for fun..so..when he will be back...he will be
back.
For him...maybe is normal. But for me...it means this is a
lack of respect. how can i not know/ask when my huisband is comming
home???
2. if he is browsing...and doin stuff..or workin on pc... he can do it for hours.. while he doesn`t pay so much attention to me.
me- u are ignoring me....and start a drama
him- can`t u see i am workin? is it like am watchin tv and don`t talk to u.
offfffffff....and not only.
we
both know we are different...we both know we need to find a middle
way...we know what we have to do and change...STILL...no matter how much
we approach the middle way...we never get ON it. still a distance from
it.
How do u succeed in your marriage? How do u treat your man?
for me..i think i`ve done everythin in my power...i take care of him, i
cook even 3 times a day, or midnight if he wants to. (me, that was the
type who never cooked before). o do housework, i am smart, i love him, i
am pretty, i love fashion and i always dress well...i go
clubbin...after maybe bein in the kitchen whole saturday.
I am tryin to be as complex as i can. Not to let him want smth in a woman that i cannot do.
How do u girls treat your man? to always make him come after u..and only see u?
how do u react when he is pissin u off or when he does smth u don`t like...
dunno...please just tell me how to handle a 9ja boy...
teach me HOW TO THINK LIKE U.
coz if i get to think like a nigerian woman...we have more chances to succed, right???
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